


heartbreak girl

by tooruluv



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Based on a 5 Seconds of Summer Song, Best Friends, Bokuto Koutarou & Kuroo Tetsurou Friendship, Bokuto Koutarou is a Good Friend, F/M, Falling In Love, Fluff and Angst, Friendship/Love, Just a lot., Pining, Possibly Unrequited Love, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-22
Updated: 2021-01-30
Packaged: 2021-03-07 17:08:06
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,633
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26601139
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tooruluv/pseuds/tooruluv
Summary: kozume kenma couldn’t pinpoint the exact day in which he realized that he was eminently in love with you. he knew very well that it was sometime after your first “hello”, but the exact moment got whisked away in the many memories that included you. the problem was, though, that you were eminently in love with and in a serious relationship with the boy he claimed as a best friend.( also posted on my tumblr @ tooruluv )
Relationships: Kozume Kenma/Reader, Kozume Kenma/You, Kuroo Tetsurou/Reader, Kuroo Tetsurou/You
Comments: 17
Kudos: 101





	1. a teasing world

_“ i’m right here, when are you going to realize? ”_

┏━━━━━⋇⋆⋆⋇❦⋇⋆⋆⋇━━━━━┓

Kozume Kenma couldn’t pinpoint the exact day in which he realized that he was eminently in love with you. He knew very well that it was sometime after your first “hello”, but the exact moment got whisked away in the many memories that included you.

The problem was, though, that you were eminently in love with and in a serious relationship with the boy he claimed as a best friend.

The first day that Kenma met you, he had to take several seconds to process. You were the only person, the only girl, that made him have to catch his breath at the mere sight. You were brighter than the sun, shined blue like the moon. You were stunning. 

And you had your arm wrapped around Tetsurou Kuroo’s.

“Kenma!” Kuroo had called from across the room, waving at his friend. Kenma complied, phone in hand and moving through the crowds without so much as lifting an eye.

Kenma was dragged to a party with the volleyball team. It isn’t that he hated people, nor was he shy. He just didn’t see the point in pretending to enjoy something that wasn’t his thing. He never understood the desire most teens had in wanting to do stupid things and interact all of the time. It sounded exhausting. 

“Kenma, this is my girlfriend.” Kuroo introduced you. And Kenma looked up to meet your eyes.

“Hello!” You greeted with a smile. You had to talk a bit louder than normal over the party’s music. “I’ve heard a lot about you. I’m glad we finally get to meet!”

“Same.” was Kenma’s reply. Though he wanted to say more. 

As Kuroo continued to talk to the both of you, Kenma couldn’t help but watch you from his peripheral vision. You were, in simple terms, the most beautiful person he had ever met. How you managed to be so utterly taken with Kuroo he would never understand. 

You kept one hand on Kuroo’s arm the entire time. Kenma could only define his feelings as _jealousy_. 

Of course, he pushed those feelings down. Because he couldn’t possibly be in love at first sight. To his best friend’s girlfriend, of all people. No. Absolutely not.

When Kenma retreated to a corner of the house later that night, it was you who found him and sat beside him on the floor. He looked up from his game.

“Don’t stop on my account.” You told him, pulling out your phone. “Not one for parties?”

“Never have been.” He brought his head further down to shield his face with his hair. “I’m always dragged here by the team.”

“Yeah, I’m only here to meet Kuroo’s friends.” You admitted. He didn’t know if it was true or if it was a way to initiate conversation to get on his good side for your boyfriend. Either way, he turned his head to catch your (beautiful) eye. “But he decided that trying to beat Bokuto at the keg is his mission for the night.”

“Ah.”

With that, the both of you became closer. You waved at him at volleyball games, met up with them at lunch, called him over discord to play games while both of you were at home. And Kenma felt himself falling harder and harder.

Oh, and he became your shoulder to cry on.

Because Tetsurou Kuroo might’ve been an amazing guy, a great team leader and captain, and an incredible friend; but he was a terrible boyfriend.

You were his first girlfriend, so there was room for learning and growth and improvement. But there were also faults in trying to build something that had no foundation.

━━━━━

A couple of months passed, and the honeymoon stage had come to an end, was the day of the first fight.

The reason behind the fight was long forgotten by now, but it had to do with communication. A joke turned into seriousness that it hadn’t meant to be, and it ended in a heated argument between you both. He had ended up calling you an awful name, so you left. 

Kuroo called after you, instant regret and apologies rushing off of his lips, but you were already gone. 

You ended up at Kenma’s. You knocked on his door with tears in your eyes and on your cheeks. How could he have said no?

With a small voice, you asked, “Can we just play games, please?”

“Of course.” Kenma replied without asking anything else. 

He sat on his bed and you sat in a beanbag as you played a game on his TV. He didn’t say anything when he watched you cry silent tears. Instead, he handed you a juice and bag of chips. 

You accepted, pretending that there weren’t tears streaming down your red face. Because he knew you, and knew that if you didn’t want to talk about it, he wouldn’t pressure you to. 

“Mario Kart?” He offered. 

“Oh, you want to lose?” You quipped. A quirk in the corner of your lips. 

Even a small smile from you made him feel better. And fall harder. 

When you returned home that night, Kuroo stood in the exact spot you had left him in. He immediately sent you a thousand apologies, voice choked. You forgave him before he even spoke.

All relationships are rollercoasters, to say the very least. They have their ups and downs, their fast and slow parts, their beginning and end. Your relationship with Kuroo was definitely one of twists and turns. 

Kenma sat on the sidelines and watched it all with a knot in his stomach. He held it down, further and further with each passing day.

━━━━━

Immediately after one intense game that they inevitably won, Kenma searched for you. You rushed from the crowd and into your boyfriend’s arms, congratulating him and giving him a kiss on the cheek. Kenma wondered if the two of you had kissed at that point, you had been together for a month. He had to stop himself from going down that rabbit hole.

It was when you turned to him that Kenma’s entire world was put on pause. You were the only thing that could move. 

“Congrats Kenma!” You cheered, bringing him in for a hug. Kuroo chuckled beside you as Kenma just stood with his arms at his sides, completely paralyzed. “You were amazing! What the fuck! That last play…”

Your voice was drowned out. You pulled away to talk more about how great he did during the game. But he couldn’t listen to the praise coming from your tongue. He just couldn’t.

Once you were out of earshot, Kuroo turned to him. With a big dorky smile on his face, Kuroo asked, “She’s the best, isn’t she?”

“Sure.” Kenma replied, but he wanted to go on and on.

━━━━━

Becoming very good friends with Kozume Kenma resulted in a lot of third wheeling. Not that you would ever intentionally exclude him. In fact, you tried to make sure that he was a part of everything the two of you did. Even if it was just something as little as an invite.

The third wheeling mainly consisted of Kenma’s aching heart as he endured the presence of the two of you. Every time that he would catch a glimpse of your hand in Kuroo’s, or Kuroo’s hand on your thigh, or a quick kiss on the cheek, Kenma couldn’t help but wish that it was him instead.

Kuroo caught him staring, once. 

He was dragged to a bonfire with the team, and he dreaded every second of it. He never understood why people would enjoy sitting around a fire and being eaten by bugs. He also didn’t like marshmallows. 

You were sitting on Kuroo’s lap on a lawn chair, legs draped over his and your body curved into his side. Kenma couldn’t help but watch as he said something into your hair and you laughed, smacking Kuroo’s chest.

Kuroo found Kenma’s gaze. He sent him an oblivious smile and waved him over, thinking that Kenma was feeling awkward about sitting on the sidelines. Oh, how close he had been to the truth.

“Hey, Pudding Head.” Kuroo teased. “How are you doing?”

“I’m fine.”

“Are you sure?” You asked. You looked up from your position on his lap, and Kenma thought of a million things at once.

“Yeah.”

Kuroo offered the seat beside him, and Kenma accepted. Kuroo knew him better than anyone, this was something that he knew for certain. He wondered if his feelings for you had been obvious. Kuroo never brought it up.

The rest of the night consisted of Kenma pretending to not be affected by your whispering and giggling with his best friend.

━━━━━

Kozume Kenma remembers one specific moment of his love more vividly than the rest.

You were at his house, hanging out on a day off. There were no tears, no anger or sadness towards your boyfriend. It was just a good time with just the two of you. Kuroo had something with his family, so he wasn’t present.

He didn’t remember exactly how the two of you ended up in this position, but he would not complain.

Your head laid in Kenma’s lap, hair fanned out along his thighs. You were watching him beat this game he just got, eyes focused on the screen. Kenma sat against the wall on his bed, arms on either side of your head with his controller in his hand in his best attempt to not touch you.

“Why don’t you like to touch me?” you asked him.

The question caught him off guard, and he had to hide the surprise on his face. “Hm?”

“Don’t pretend I haven’t noticed.” You shifted to look up at him. Kenma had to adjust his legs to hide something he didn’t think you wanted to see. “I figured that you might be a germaphobe or something, because you always seem to keep your distance or freeze up when I grab your wrist or hug you. But I don’t think you are one, considering you play volleyball with a bunch of sweaty men.”

“I. Um.” Kenma paused the game and looked down at you. Searching for excuses, racking his brain for any fake plausible answer that he could give you instead of _I’m pretty sure that I’m in love with you and every time that the two of us make contact I feel like a firework about to explode (and it goes straight to a different part of me that I do not wish to discuss with literally anyone)_. Because that would go over well.

With the little thoughts he could muster, he lied, “I’m not used to girls voluntarily touching me.”

You accepted his answer, nodding with your head still against his thighs. He looked down to see that you were already staring back up at him. “What?”

“I was just wondering why girls weren’t throwing themselves over you.” You sent him a smile. He wanted to die. “You’re a catch. I promise I’ll be more careful if me touching you makes you uncomfortable.”

“It doesn’t.” Kenma quickly added. Maybe a little too quickly. “This,” he gestured to the current position the two of you laid in. “This doesn’t make me uncomfortable. I guess some things just take time.”

You smiled at him again. That stupid, gorgeous smile. “One day you’ll be so comfortable with me that you won’t even notice if I kiss you.”

The world was testing him. The gods were playing a game with him. He returned his attention to the game, hoping he wouldn’t collapse on the spot.

━━━━━

One night, around half a year into your relationship, Kenma received a call at the asscrack of dawn. Groggily, he answered without looking at the caller.

“Hello?” He asked, voice heavy in sleep. Who would call him at this time? On a school night, no less.

“Kenma.” His ears perked up at your voice. He sat up. “Kenma, please give me some advice.”

It was the first time that you had ever wanted to talk about a fight. True, it was only the third time, but it meant the world to him that you wanted to talk about it. Even if the sun wasn’t even up yet and he had several hours left to sleep.

“What happened?”

A sniff. He was going to kick Kuroo’s head, he decided.

“I just… how do you deal with someone who refuses to talk to you?” You paused, as if you were trying to put together your words. Kenma waited. “Kuroo is great most of the time, but he leaves me hanging so much. I can go the entire weekend without so much as a text. And today something had happened, I knew it the second I saw the look on his face. But he just won’t talk to me. And today,” Another sniff. “Today, I brought it up and he was so dismissive and told me that I didn’t need to be so clingy. _Clingy_.”

Kenma had to stop himself from saying something like, _if you were with me I would love it if you were clingy_.

“Kuroo’s an idiot.” Kenma told you truthfully. “He doesn’t know how to talk about things that he actually needs to talk about. Next time you talk to him, tell him how his actions make you feel rather than what he needs to change. You’ll get into his brain easier, it’ll click with him.”

You paused again. Taking his words in. “Thank you. Thanks for being a friend.”

“Of course.”

 _Friend_. Because that was all he would be, all that he could be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> my first time ever writing for kenma, and i love him so much. i tried a different writing style for this one, and i'm actually pretty proud of it. anyway!! i hope you liked the start of this small fic, and please leave as much feedback as possible!! until next time <3


	2. red hoodie

_“ it was that summer i learned your number like it was my own. i still remember that first september driving you home. ”_

┏━━━━━⋇⋆⋆⋇❦⋇⋆⋆⋇━━━━━┓

Tetsurou Kuroo was a very patient person. But when it came to you, it was the opposite. He fell in love with you instantly, like a grain of sand being washed away by a wave. And the second he realized his feelings, he told you.

You were a year below him, beautiful and intelligent. You didn’t attend Nekoma, but he always found you wherever he went. At the convenience store, you would happen to be checking out. At the mall, you would be in the food court. It felt as though he would see you everywhere, as if fate were telling him to find you.

Kuroo took his shot at flirting with you, though it was unsuccessful because the man may be good looking and quite popular but an awful flirt. You thought it was cute.

So, he was ecstatic when you told him you would go on a date with him.

And that little movie date turned into a million dates. Cue the montage of the both of you, giggling together and having the best summer of your lives. Cue the scenes of water gun fights and laughter, of dancing in the moonlight and falling down hills, of picnics and jumping into pools. He really did fall in love with you in the matter of two months.

He told Kozume Kenma about you the minute he realized he adored you. He told his best friend about the summer romance, talking nonstop about the girl he knew he fell for with ease. Kenma didn’t believe him at first, rolling his eyes at Kuroo’s claim of “dating a girl from a different school”. 

But Kenma was observant above all else, and Kuroo knew that he didn’t have to prove it to him. He knew that the second Kenma noticed his lockscreen, he would know that he wasn’t lying. 

“That’s her?” Kenma asked at lunch, eyes catching the cute picture of you two as Kuroo’s wallpaper. 

“Yes it is!” Kuroo locked his phone again, showing it off. It was a selfie he took, both of you smiling and shining against the sun. It was his favorite picture.

But pictures only last a moment.

━━━━━

“Will you be my girlfriend?” Tetsurou Kuroo asked you one night. 

You giggled, staring at the most handsome man in the universe, “Of course. I thought you would never ask and I would be pining forever.”

━━━━━

You were crying. That was for certain.

It was September, the crisp air and the reds and oranges brought the world to rest. But you were up, and Kuroo was a phone call away.

“Hello?” Kuroo asked the instant he answered his phone. It wasn’t every day that your summer romance calls you at the asscrack of dawn. In the middle of a thunderstorm, no less.

“Hi.” Your voice was small and choked. Kuroo wasn’t asleep yet, but now his body was fully awake.

“What’s wrong?”

“Can you come pick me up? Please?” 

You didn’t need to explain any more. You didn’t have to give him a reason to put on some sweatpants, get into his car, and drive to where you told him you were. It was an hour drive but it felt like five minutes.

When he arrived, you were curled on the porch of a cabin with dried tears on your cheeks and his hoodie on (and soaked to the core). He parked his mom’s car and you instantly stood and rushed to the car as if it was the safest place in the world.

“Do you want to talk about it?” He offered as you closed the door. You hadn’t looked at him.

“Not really. Just family, I guess.” You shrugged. He watched you shiver a little. 

“Here.” Kuroo reached to the backseat and handed you an extra hoodie he had laying there. “It was in my practice bag so it might smell like sweat.”

“Thanks.”

It was the most silent that it had been between the two of you, and you had been together for a little while. Not officially, but a summer’s worth. Small sniffles and little sounds of the rain hit the window were the only sounds.

He decided to reach across the seat and place a hand on your thigh. You shivered at the touch and instantly started to cry harder, grabbing his hand with both of yours.

With your two hands clasped around his, and his still grabbing your thigh, you finally told him of that night. Through tears, you told him about how your family wanted to go to this cabin on the lake for a little get away before it got too cold, but it quickly turned into a million different fights. You told him about how awful your family life usually was, and why you are constantly out with him or with your friends from your school. You told him everything. And he listened.

By the time you were done, you were nearly home. Your eyes were still red.

“You can stay with me.” Kuroo told you as he pulled into his house. You looked so small, with a red face, wet hair, and his hoodie swallowing you. You were beautiful.

You blinked at him. “No, it’s okay. I can just go home. No one is there and…”

“I’m not telling you to _sleep_ with me.” He tried to lighten the mood. You let a smile creep onto your lips, he noticed. “I just don’t think it’s best for you to sleep on your own tonight.”

“I do want to sleep with you.” You said. “I mean… sleep beside you. Sleep in the same bed.”

Kuroo flipped his hand up to intertwine your fingers with his. You were still kind of cold to the touch. “Come on. You need sleep more than I do, and I had like nine tournament games earlier.”

━━━━━

Tetsurou Kuroo was a brutally honest person. His intellect matched his wit, and he knew more than he ever let on. He could very well insult you and compliment you within the same two words. But it was this honesty that started the first decline in the relationship.

But you fell in love with him anyway.

━━━━━

The sun hung low in the sky as the two of you laid on the grass. Kuroo’s legs touched yours as you leaned against his side. The air got cooler and the evening grew. 

“You should meet my friends.” He told you. It was his first time offering. It was something that you were kind of nervous about, knowing that he had an entire team that looked up to him and knowing that he was incredibly popular. “I think it’ll be fun.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah.” He turned his head to the side, taking you in with a beautiful gaze. He thought you were brilliant in the sunlight. “I’m sure they think I’m insane, talking about a girl that they’ve never met and think I’m making you up. Oh, and you’ll love Kenma.”

“I finally get to meet the infamous Kozume Kenma?” You chuckled. He did too.

You’ve heard so much of the claimed best friend, and you were intrigued. He sounded like the perfect best friend, for both you and for Kuroo. He sounded to be the perfect piece of earth to ground the cloud that was your boyfriend.

“There’s a party coming up, you have to come.” He started to go off on a tangent and go on and on about his friends, his volleyball team mostly, and you just listened.

You kissed him to shut him up, and he stared blankly at you.

“You’re gorgeous.” you told him.

“And so are you.” he replied.

━━━━━

Tetsurou Kuroo wasn’t an idiot. He was actually incredibly intelligent and observant. However, he didn’t catch the sparks fly off of Kozume Kenma at the very first interaction between you and him. He didn’t see the heart eyes glowing out of Kenma’s head, and he didn’t feel the warmth Kenma grew at the very sight of you.

As your friendship grew with Kenma, Kuroo couldn’t help but be happy. Not only because you were getting along with his best friend, but because he could see how Kenma let down his walls with you. It wasn’t very often that Kenma opened up to anyone. For that to be you meant the world to Kuroo.

One day, after practice and then studying, Kuroo called you. “Hey baby.”

“Hey!” you answered after, like, one ring.

“What’s up, do you want to have a movie night or something?” Kuroo heard noises behind you. “It’s almost Christmas! We can watch a corny Christmas movie and eat terrible snacks.” Another noise from behind you. “Hey, where are you at?”

“I’m at Kenma’s.” You answered. Kuroo didn’t know why he felt his stomach drop, but he deflected it.

“Oh, okay cool!” He started to put on his shoes. “I’m on my way, then.”

“Okay! Hey, Kenma!” Your voice distanced. You were talking to the background noise, aka Kozume Kenma. “Kuroo’s on his way over!”

Not that Kuroo should feel jealous of you hanging out at his friend’s house, but he did kind of feel something in the back of his mind. Because Kenma had become your friend, too. And Kenma’s doors were always open (and he knew how important that was to you). 

All of his strange feelings went away the second he entered the house and saw the two of you. The two most important people in his life.

━━━━━

The fights got worse and worse as the relationship continued. They started as small bickerings; “I told you that I didn’t want this!” or “Please call me back, I haven’t heard from you all day”. Simple things that could easily be resolved. They spiraled into a constant fight about things such as “what ifs” (what happens when Kuroo goes to college, what if this happens), and into the same fight about Kuroo being terrible about communication and about you just wanting to ignore the fight instead of discussing it.

By half a year into the relationship, you spent most of your free hours with Kenma.

All fights would end with you calling him. Or just coming over and not speaking. Or even just enjoying dinner with his family. Any reason for why you wouldn’t come home or talk to your boyfriend.

The fight at the time had ended pretty brutal.

You waited and waited at a restaurant, sitting at a booth by yourself. You continued to order waters, typing on your phone to see where Kuroo could possibly be when he promised you that he would meet you for a dinner date. You sat through the stares of the waitresses. You sat through free bread and free water.

After a couple of hours, you gave up. You weren’t even upset, you were angry. It isn’t the first time that he had left you hanging, and you decided that it wouldn’t be the last. You were so pissed off that you texted him one last sentence, “seriously fuck you”. 

You stormed into Kenma’s house, rage seething off of you. Kenma only looked up from his game for a moment and moved over so you could sit next to him on the bed. 

“I’m guessing the dinner date didn’t go well.” was all he said. You sighed, rolling your eyes and shoving your feet under his blanket. You were still dressed up. 

“Don’t even get me started.” You huffed. 

Your phone started to ding with Kuroo’s replies (finally, after hours of silence). You just turned off the sound and watched Kenma play.

For a while, you curled next to him and watched him play. He was extremely aware of your warmth, of your heat. He had to stop himself from putting his head on top of yours.

He paused the game. “You should answer him.”

But you didn’t want to. You didn’t want to sit and tell him for the million and first time that he needed to communicate with you. You didn’t want to answer it and hear his apologies. You wanted to sit with Kenma, in silence, and watch him play his stupid (but actually pretty interesting) game. You just wanted to relax after stressing for the past hours.

“Fine.” You clicked the green button the next time it rang.

“Hey babe.” Kuroo sounded solemn. Sincere. Guilty. “Hey. I’m so sorry I haven’t texted you, I stayed after practice for a while and ended up hanging out with some of the Karasuno first years. I totally forgot.”

“I waited there, you know.” Your voice was laced with venom. Kenma had never heard you speak like that, and frankly, he was a little bit scared of you. “I waited. For _hours_. In the fucking restaurant, Tetsurou.”

Tetsurou. He had never heard you call him that. 

“I know, I know. I’m so sorry. You should’ve reminded me!”

“ _I_ should have reminded you?” You let out a laugh. Kenma tilted his head. “I should have reminded _you_? Did you not read my texts or are you just blind? Don’t you turn this on me like you _always fucking do_.”

It spiraled from there. Halfway through the fight, you turned to Kenma. You muted yourself, vaguely listening to him argue over the speaker. 

“I’m sorry. I’ll go outside.”

“It’s okay.” Kenma shrugged. “It isn’t like it’s the first time.”

You bit the inside of your mouth. You squeezed his shoulder before getting back on the phone, heading outside. You mouthed another apology to him as you left.

━━━━━

Things weren’t always that way. The fights and the arguments were just between the love and affection. Because Tetsurou Kuroo really did love you, and you loved him.

It was coming to the end of his third year, and the majority of your time consisted of spending a lot of time with him. You were laying with him at his house. His body was wrapped around yours, your back against his chest. 

“Hey, you should join us for the trip this summer.” He asked.

It was still months away. The graduated third years from Nekoma and some from other schools that you’ve seen them go against (Fukurodani Academy, Karasuno, Aobajohsai, some others you couldn’t think of). It was basically “let’s get all of the volleyball boys, and our girlfriends, and get away for the summer after we graduate and get drunk/high every night”. 

“Really?” You turned around in his arms. His hand didn’t leave your waist. “You really want me to come along? I thought it was supposed to be just the volleyball boys.”

“No, I know Bokuto is bringing his girlfriend. And so is Tanaka from Karasuno, and I think little Hinata has a girlfriend now too.” Kuroo smiled at you. “You should come. I really want you there.”

You pecked his lips. “Yeah, of course I’ll come.”

That’s how you ended up in the backseat of Kotaro Bokuto’s car in between Kuroo and Kenma on your way to a cabin by a lake.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> next chapter will be more kenma!! think of it like a back and forth between kuroo and kenma's views but also.. not like that. ANYWAY i love feedback so please let me know what you think!! <3


	3. a mere confession

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> omg heyyyy !! long time no update. so here we are hehe

_“ all i want is nothing more than to hear you knocking at my door. 'cause if i could see your face once more, i could die a happy man i'm sure. ”_

┏━━━━━⋇⋆⋆⋇❦⋇⋆⋆⋇━━━━━┓

Kozume Kenma was growing exhausted.

It was exhausting to keep something, a secret, deep inside of him. Kenma was naturally a pretty honest person. To constantly press down his love for you was physically draining. Loving you was exhausting.

But the minute you turned to him in the car, body pressed against his side, asking him about his video game, he figured the exhaustion was worth it.

━━━━━

Bokuto pulled the car into a dirt driveway to reveal the biggest beach house Kenma had ever seen. It was painted a dusty blue-green color, but it was pretty worn with browns. Endless windows faced the water, where a boat and two circles of chairs formed around two fire pits.

Other’s had already made it, so Kenma heard his name being called before he could even take it all in. Hinata.

“Kenma! I wasn’t expecting you to be here!”

“I wasn’t expecting you to be here, either.” Kenma said as he got out of the car. You got out on Kuroo’s side (it was a small detail but he couldn’t help but notice). 

“Yeah, the whole Karasuno team came!” Hinata’s smile was so bright it hurt. “Oh, do you want to share a room with me! Kageyama didn’t want to room with me and…”

“Yeah, sure.”

“I thought we were going to share a room.” Kuroo spoke up from where he was grabbing things from the trunk. 

“Sharing a room with Hinata makes more sense.” Kenma said. “Now you can share with Bokuto.” _And both of your girlfriends._

“Hell yeah!” Bokuto exclaimed from the other side of the car. 

As you all grabbed your things and Kenma endured Hinata rambling on about playing beach volleyball later, he couldn’t help but look at you. You caught his glance almost instantly and sent him a perfect smile. 

When Kuroo put his arm around your shoulders and you tore your gaze from his, Kenma felt a punch to his gut.

━━━━━

Shoyo Hinata may not have been the smartest person alive, but he was not stupid. And being a volleyball player means that his observational skills were maxed out.

Hinata’s girlfriend, a swimmer named Hayami, wrapped her arm around his. He flushed and smiled but his attention was focused on a certain Nekoma setter.

“You think he likes her?” Hayami asked, looking in the same direction.

“Yeah.” He replied. “And I don’t think Kuroo knows.”

“They’re best friends, right?”

“Yeah. That’s why I think Kenma would keep it to himself.”

“He really is your best friend, huh?” Hiyami giggled, and Hinata’s smile didn’t falter. 

“I like to think so.”

━━━━━

As a welcome to the end, the night was spent partying. Both of the fires were lit, and everyone was spread out along the beach house. You were sitting on Kuroo’s lap on the sand, both of you with full cups in your hands.

Kenma hadn’t even taken a sip of his yet he felt sick.

━━━━━

Kenma wanted to tell Kuroo.

Oh, how he wanted to tell his best friend of his yearning. He wanted to sit him down, confess his love for you, and be on his way. 

But there was absolutely _no way_ that was happening. None. 

Not while he hugged you from your back in front of everyone. Not while Kuroo’s eyes sparkled while looking at you. Not while your smile brightened at the sight of him. 

Kozume Kenma knew his best friend. He knew that Kuroo would do anything and everything for him. If Kenma asked for it, he would get it. That’s how it always had been with them. 

_“Kuroo, can I have the red bucket?”_ Kenma would ask as kids, and Kuroo would hand it to him. Or, _“Kuroo, this tastes awful.”_ And he would simply switch his good-tasting drink for Kenma’s bitter one.

And he knew that if he asked Kuroo for you, he would simply give you up. Because that’s who Kuroo is: selfless and full of love. 

There was absolutely no way Kenma would do that.

━━━━━

It was two days before your first fight with Tetsurou Kuroo. It was two days of peace and nothing but love between you both.

And it was late at night when Kenma woke up to you.

You didn’t say anything. You simply appeared in Kenma and Hinata’s shared room and slipped into the bottom bunk next to Kenma. 

He woke up to the feeling of the blanket being lifted, groggily taking in his surroundings. The second he realized it was you, he only moved over and gave you a little bit more blanket. 

Both of you laid on your backs, staring at the upper bunk that Hinata was passed out in. Even in the dark he could see your tears.

There were no words exchanged. Your bodies squished against each other on the small bed, hidden under the blanket. He could feel your breath.

You curled into his side, and Kenma felt like he was going to astral project. You were an out of body experience.

━━━━━

Kenma woke up to an empty bed.

When were you going to realize that Tetsurou Kuroo was not meant to be yours, and you were in fact meant to be with someone else? 

_Never_ , he answered once he walked into the kitchen to see Kuroo hugging your back as you grabbed a snack from the counter.

━━━━━

The thing about unrequited love is that it hurts more than regular pining. Unrequited love hurts physically, it causes pains in the chest and stomach aches beyond anything experienced before. Pining after someone… well, it’s full of hope and fear of rejection.

Unrequited love is sitting in wait while you watch someone you love love someone else.

And that is comparable to death.

━━━━━

On the boat, Kenma only watched you.

As Bokuto steered you through the water and the wind blew into your face, he could only sit and watch. Everyone was too busy doing their own thing to notice.

Kuroo plopped in the seat next to him, arm behind Kenma’s head and cheeks dusted in red.

“Did you put sunscreen on?” Kuroo asked, tapping his best friend’s arm. “You’re getting red.”

“So are you.”

The thing was, Kenma wasn’t red from the sun.

━━━━━

The neverending party was dying for that night. Drunken laughs and make out sessions were fading out and back into the house.

And Kenma was exhausted.

━━━━━

“I’m in love with you.” Kenma told you. A simple statement.

It was only the two of you. He looked at you, but you focused your attention on the flames of the fire. The oranges and reds danced along your skin, the shadows reflected against the glow in your eyes. The fire might’ve been burning but Kenma felt cold.

“I figured that you should know.” He shrugged. Because it wasn’t a confession, nor was it supposed to make you feel awkward or choose a guy. It was simply the truth.

“Kenma,” You finally spoke, turning towards him. Your eyes met.

“You don’t have to say anything.” He interrupted you.

“Kenma,” You tried again. This time, you reached for him across the fabric arm of the lawn chair you were sitting in. He let you wrap your hand around his wrist. “I don’t know what to say.”

“Like I said, you don’t have to say anything.” Kenma turned his head from yours.

The rest of the night concluded with the both of you facing the fire. Your hand stayed on his, as if he wasn’t real if you weren’t touching him. His heart hammered his chest. Yet, he felt a bit relieved to feel free of the exhaustion it was to keep the secret.

As the fire died, you two stayed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i actually really love the kenma x reader relationship so much it hurts. 
> 
> please remember to leave me feedback and what you think will happen!! i always love criticism <3


	4. anything for you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wow! long time no update!  
> this one is bit shorter, but i hope its okay!!

_“ and it's killing me, me to say "i'm fine," when i really mean, mean to say, you're my all and more. ”_

┏━━━━━⋇⋆⋆⋇❦⋇⋆⋆⋇━━━━━┓

You didn’t acknowledge Kenma’s confession. He didn’t mind. It was better that way. You were in a relationship with his best friend, and he never thought that telling you how he felt would make that change.

That didn’t stop his heart from breaking when you finally left him that night, giving his hand one last squeeze before heading back inside. 

Kenma stayed outside that night, knees to his chest as he watched the burnt embers fade to black.

━━━━━

The next morning, Tetsurou Kuroo called for his best friend. Kenma fully intended on making his defense. He would explain that he was drunk (he wasn’t), and that he had felt that way towards you but he hadn’t meant to tell you (another lie).

He was pleasantly surprised when Kuroo just wanted to give him a plate for breakfast.

You didn’t tell him.

Why didn’t you tell him? He was your boyfriend, after all. And “hey your best friend just told me he was in love with me” seemed to be a conversation someone in a relationship should probably have.

But as Kozume Kenma sat at the long table to eat even though he just woke up, you caught his eye.

The glimmer in your eye was different. It wasn’t the same sparkle, the same greeting he was accustomed to. 

As if you were trying to say something without hurting his feelings.

He shouldn’t have expected you to act the same with him. He should have expected a little bit of hesitant change from you. Fuck.

The sun rose from the window behind you, and Kenma couldn’t help but watch as it cascaded you in a pink hue. It brought warmth. It brought light. And you were glowing in it.

━━━━━

Next to Kenma, you were pretty close with Bokuto.

Kuroo and Bokuto were insanely close in a way that he wasn’t with Kenma. Bokuto, being from another school, wasn’t around as much physically. During the summer, the two would be inseparable. Like now. But during the school year, their friendship relied on secrets and stories.

You knew Bokuto before you knew Kuroo or Kenma. Not that you talked much before them, but you did.

Maybe that’s why you went to him. Or maybe it was because Bokuto was a very go-with-the-flow person and you needed that.

You needed someone who wasn’t Kuroo or Kenma to talk about Kuroo and Kenma.

“Hey, Bokuto.” you greeted when you found him on the pier. His girlfriend sat at his side.

They both looked up with a smile. “Hey! What’s up?”

“Can I, um, steal him for a minute?” You asked her. 

You were running on fumes. You might have gone inside, but you didn’t sleep. You couldn’t stop buzzing as if you had sixteen cups of coffee right before you found out you had fifty missed calls from your mom.

It was as if you were running without running at all.

“Yeah, go for it.” She stood up, giving you her place next to him. “Don’t keep him too long, I want to swim soon!”

“I won’t. Promise!”

She kissed Bokuto on the cheek before heading to the house, leaving you with him. You took your place next to him on the wood. It was warm despite the morning cool.

“I have to say something.” You started, staring into the water. “And it is a lot. But you can’t tell anyone.”

Bokuto looked at you with an eyebrow raised. “Does Kuroo know about this top secret secret?”

“No.”

“Oh, so it’s a huge secret!” He nudged you with his shoulder. “What is it? You didn’t cheat on him, did you? Because if you did, I don’t think I could pick your side over his…”

“I didn’t cheat on him.” You couldn’t help but smile. You looked at him. He was patiently waiting. 

“You have to promise.”

“I promise I won’t tell anyone.”

“ _Anyone_. That includes your girlfriend.”

“Fuck! Okay, okay.” He held out his pinky to you. You didn’t hesitate to wrap your pinky around his. “I promise that I won’t tell a single soul.”

“Kenma told me that he’s in love with me.”

Bokuto immediately crossed his fingers behind his back.

━━━━━

The water glittered with the sun. The waves were low, slowly making their way to the sand only to retreat back to the depth. 

Tomorrow came and left, and soon it had been days.

Days since Kenma confessed. Days since you had last spoken to him, had a genuine conversation. Days since you crawled into his bed and asked about his game. Days since you helped him blow the flames off of his burnt marshmallow.

And when you and Kuroo had a little fight, a little argument before bed, you didn’t know where to go.

━━━━━

Tetsurou Kuroo could tell that something was wrong.

Something, call it the vibes if you want, was off. There was a hanging heaviness in the air, a change in routine. 

It was starting to seriously annoy him when he figured it out. 

You weren’t sitting with Kenma.

Typically, you and Kenma would already have some banter going on about a game that Kuroo had never played. Or the two of you would be giggling at Hinata’s lame attempt at seducing his girlfriend. 

But as Kuroo steered the boat, he watched as the two of you sat on opposite sides.

“Bokuto?”

“Yes, Captain?” Bokuto joked, moving to where Kuroo sat at the wheel. 

They were a little too far away for either you nor Kenma to hear, so Kuroo tried his luck. “Do you know if something happened with them?”

Bokuto’s eyes followed Kuroo’s. A witness to his two best friends not being best friends. 

Bokuto is not a snitch. He is a great friend, filled with humor and loyalty. But one thing Koutarou Bokuto is not is a liar. 

His inner self fought for a long time. His hands were shaking. 

“I’ll tell you later.” Bokuto finally said, words slipping past his lips before he could stop them.

Kuroo nodded, even though his stomach dropped.

━━━━━

You hesitated at Kenma’s door. 

It was coming up on the last day at the beach house. And it was incredibly fun, and full of strange things and confessions, and you didn’t want to spend another second with awkward tension with your best friend.

As you went to knock, Kozume Kenma opened the door.

He was a little shocked to see you. He blinked, testing to see if you were _real_ and standing in front of him. You couldn't help but scan his face, wanting to scold him into taking a shower and putting down his game. He was on vacation, after all.

But you didn't, of course. You had a million things you wanted to say, but you said his name.

“Kenma,” you started, but you didn’t know what you were going to say. 

“Like I said, you don’t have to say anything.” 

“But I _need_ to say something.” You told him. “Kenma, you’re my best friend. And the past couple of days have been so fucking weird. And I… I miss you.”

He stared at you. And his eyes were full of the same thing you had always met them with: love.

━━━━━

“Not this one, Kenma.” Kuroo said.

Kenma’s head shot up from his game system, confusion setting in at his best friend's random declaration. Kuroo was getting dressed, whether it was from a shower or from swimming he didn’t know.

“What?”

“You ask for anything and I give it to you.” Kuroo didn’t meet Kenma’s gaze. He was shuffling around in his suitcase. “ _Anything_ , Kenma. You could ask me for money, and my wallet is yours. You could ask me for that new game you can’t shut up about and I would buy it for you. You could ask me to go into the woods and come back with a bear head, and I would do my best. You can have anything. But you can’t have her.”

Kenma could feel his throat tighten. His heart seized in his chest, pounding painfully against his ribs. Breathing was a difficult task.

“Kuroo…”

“ _Anything_ but her.” Kuroo repeated, finally meeting his best friend’s eyes.

Kuroo’s eyes were lined with unshed tears. His hair was a bit messier than usual, though no one could really tell but Kenma. He had to stop himself from just getting up and leaving. Or getting up and hugging Kuroo (an impulse he had never had in his entire life).

“I was never going to try to.” Kenma finally said against the heavy silence. “I am sorry, Kuroo, but I never intended to do anything with the feelings I have.”

A pause.

“You could have told me.” Kuroo cracked his knuckle. A nervous tick. Kenma always called it the "Kaneki Crack" but Kuroo always rolled his eyes. “You could have told me, you know. About… being in love with her. Instead I found out from Bokuto.”

Bokuto knew? Fuck.

“I’m sorry.”

“Yeah.” Kuroo inhaled. Kenma wondered if he was having as much difficulty breathing as he was. “I’m sorry, too.”


End file.
